14 Breeds Of People You Will Definitely Bump Into In An Indian Gym
Very few saw Fardeen Khan’s debut movie Prem Aggan. Well, very few saw any of his movies. That movie had a ‘gym class’ song, “If you want to be healthy, wealthy, sexy, wise – exercise!” Little did Feroz Khan anticipate that he was creating a quiet revolution when he directed the song with a strong ‘social message’.
Today, the number of gym-goers has grown multi-fold and you cannot miss bumping into these species of ‘fitness-freaks’!
1. The protein generator
This guy even snorts protein powder *enough said*
2. The Instagramar
Your 473 followers on Instagram need live updates. We second that! @ranveersingh you are my role model bro!
3. The struggler
He had a total screen time of 45 seconds playing Jackky Bhagnani’s best friend in his last film. A MTV Splitsvilla-reject, this wannabe actor is seen networking with casting agents and filmwallahs at the gym.
We understand you are still trying to lose your holiday weight from January 1996 and have been on a fruit diet ever since. Did you however know that a kulfi falooda is NOT a fruit salad? Just saying!
5. Fatboy slim
We have seen your ‘before after’ pictures on the gym’s notice boards and brochures. And we know that your entire family can fit in your previously worn 44-waist sized pair of trousers. Good for you! But please don’t rub it in.
6. Bimbo alert
That must be hard! You are practically fat if you are 200 grams away from your goal weight. *eye roll* Btw, nice heels! Ready for zumba?
7. The noisemaker
So you had fried chicken and fries again for dinner last night? No? Then, why are you making constipated sounds?
8. 50 and fabulous!
Ok, uncle, so we know that you are 50, work out for two hours daily and never visited the doctor since 1995. But please stop lecturing us on discipline and get rid of those tiny red shorts please.
9. Gyaan baba
Run, Mahesh Bhatt on the loose. ‘Did you know that excess consumption of green tea gives you gas beta?’ ‘Did you know that BMI and BMR are not the same?’ ‘You need to work on your upper body beta!’ A humble request: Shut up!
10. The cool dud
Nike shoes. Check. Being Human T-shirt. Check. Adidas Gym bag. Check. Hoody. Check. Ipod. Check. This isn’t Eminem’s pool party. So, start working out already!
11. The thin pin
Why don’t you take a break? You must be tired after lifting those light weights.
12. Couples’ Getaway
She was on the cross-trainer and he was doing squats. They met for the first time when they both reached out for the dumbbell. They had papaya salad on their first date!
13. The Trainers
They are the sanest of all breeds at the gym. However, they all deal with the same dilemma, “I am not paid enough to put up with these morons.”
14. Damsel in distress
“Yeh machine kaise use karte hai?” And several men volunteer to help her out find a solution.
So the next time you visit the gym, ensure you lose only your weight and not your sanity! And do watch Prem Aggan’s ‘gym class’ song on Youtube!
By Viren Naidu
Viren is a business journalist/editor by profession. He thrives on reality television, prefers watching Bollywood movies only in single screens and seeks humor in monotony as a way to always stay creative. Follow him on Twitter.